Why Life Is Hard???

Life has always been hard, but the modern world presents special challenges to human contentment.

Life is hard. You already knew that, I'm guessing. But life is not impossible. And life is wonderful—ultimately. But, still, it is hard—and evolutionary psychology can help us understand why.


It's hard for a lot of people, you aren't being singled out.  Life isn't a fairy tale, it's hard work, challenges, ups and downs.  You do the best you can and hope that things will work out for you.  And if they don't, you try to find a new path.

• It's all a matter of perspective really.  Kids think not getting a toy they wanted makes their life impossible and they're going to die. 
• Pre-teens think that a boy doesn't like them and they're just going to die if they don't.
• Teenagers think their parent forcing them to do anything is the worst thing that could happen in their lives. 
• High school seniors think that if they don't get into the college they wanted that they'll just die. 
• Young adults think that if they don't get the job they wanted after college that their life is over. 
• Young professionals hate their jobs and don't know what to do with their lives because they got a degree in something they hate and now they have to pay off a loan for something they think they can't even use.
• Middle-agers are getting married and trying to get pregnant only sometimes it isn't that easy, sometimes it takes years when they thought as soon as they decided that it would happen
• Middle-agers are raising families and trying to see if they can survive on just one income and facing that their kids are getting out of control and don't understand why because they are trying hard to be their children's best friend.
• Hundreds of thousands of people lost their jobs only to find minimum wage jobs won't cover their bills and they lose their homes.
• Seniors are struggling with reduced retirement benefits and ever-rising costs for food and rent.

We, none of us, get off scott-free for any kind of problems, we all have issues of some kind and have to struggle through them.  Some people may be fortunate in not having one now 

Most likely, YOU find life hard because you lack specific skills to get the job done.

This sort of lack can come from a number of sources but most consistently and often, these skills are lacked because our circumstances and experiences have failed to facilitate learning opportunities for us. 

For example, if your parents are people who lack skills that most would teach their children in early development stages, it is unlikely you will be naturally and spontaneously exposed to another learning dynamic for these skills later in life, unless you purposefully seek out someone (like a coach) to teach them to you.

Some examples of skills (often called 'soft skills') that you may lack, which would make life considerably harder to live (these off the top of my head - I'm sure one could add):

• Empathy - the ability to imagine things from someone else's perspective and relate
• Conflict management - the ability to successfully navigate conflict situations while minimizing psychological and emotional fallout
• Self efficacy - the extent to which you believe in your own abilities and value
• Self awareness - the extent to which you are aware of your own person, needs, desires, values, expressions, body language, tone, impressions etc
• Interpersonal and relational skills - the ability to connect, relate, share and collaborate with others in a harmonious and cooperative way.
• Work ethic  - the understanding of effort and outcomes and the relationship between the two
• Grit & Tenacity - "stick-to-it-ability", determination, drive (not giving up)
• Resilience - the ability to 'bounce back' or recover from trauma, emotional upheaval or attack, distress or deviation from the desired path/outcome

• Don’t we love to talk about love: 

Love is simultaneously the most wonderful and horrible thing in the world. It’s wonderful in that it can bond you to a soulmate with whom you will spend a significant chunk of the rest of your life, if all goes well. That’s a good thing, but let’s not undersell it. Under the best of circumstances, love is a LOT of work that will last, ideally, from the time it begins UNTIL YOU DIE.

• I hate to break this to you, but you are going to die:
  

When you’re young, you feel invincible and your whole life is ahead of you. It can be easy to forget about the fact that you’re going to die. Then you get knocked on your back with an illness, someone you care about passes away, or you just get a little older and the idea slaps you right in the mouth.

Yes, you — just like Socrates, Caesar, Beethoven, Shakespeare, and Einstein — are going to die. And unlike those guys, chances are that 500 years from now, people won’t be able to identify you by one name.

This is why people have mid-life crises. You wake up one day, notice that you have aches in weird places you didn’t 10 years ago, think about your childhood dreams, and realize you never achieved your teenage dream of sleeping with the whole Dallas Cowboys cheer leading squad — and maybe you never will because you are going to DIE. Why didn’t someone tell you about this at 20?

• No money, no problems. Less money, no problems. In between money, no problems:

The poor, well everybody knows about their problems. But, the richest people get sued by people just because they have money, they worry they’re only liked because of their wealth, they feel unworthy of having so much money, and they go bankrupt. Donald Trump has gone bankrupt 4 times. Sure, nobody ever looks unhappy when he’s riding around on a new jet ski, but there are a hell of a lot of unhappy rich people out there. It’s not a panacea.

• God. That’s right; I said God!

If you’re an atheist or agnostic, it should be troubling that so many of your fellow travelers in humanity buy into religion while you don’t. There’s also the idea of creating a whole moral code for yourself based on what you feel is “right” at the moment, as if that doesn’t constantly shift throughout your life. Then, there’s the gnawing feeling that you may just be wrong, which seems to flower when people start to sense the presence of the Grim Reaper in their immediate vicinity.

That’s not to say it’s all kudos and belly scratches for believers either. Ever wondered why God allows bad things to happen to good people? Have you ever scratched your head because you don’t understand things that God’s doing? What about kicking yourself for knowing something was wrong and feeling compelled to do it anyway? It’s never fun to feel like a hypocrite, wonder if you’re doing enough to please God, or to feel unworthy because you’re good, but not good enough to meet a measure no human can ever quite reach.

Although people hate to admit it, religion is supposed to be something that you struggle with. If it were easy, like a pass/fail basket weaving course in college, it wouldn’t have any meaning.

• What’s the meaning of life and, no, it’s not “Life’s a b*tch and then you die.

Life is like a game with ever-changing rules, an infinite number of strategies, and an unlimited number of ways to “win.” Figuring out what part you’re supposed to play in the game is tough duty — and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Everyone loves to say, “I don’t have any regrets.” Let me just throw the bullsh*t card down on that one because all of us do and say stupid things we’d take back if we could. We also struggle with tough decisions, how we can reach our full potential, what our purpose is, and what we’re going to leave behind after we’re gone.